The Results Are In ...

And surprisingly enough, I was never actually crowned Miss NJ USA. Even more surprising was the fact that I didn't even make semi-finalist! Some may wonder how I sleep at night, but the truth is, with 106 girls and only 16 semi-finalists, the odds were against me to begin with. (I was probably number 17, anyway.)

The entire experience was very surreal. I walked into the hotel on Friday afternoon expecting to see a bunch of blonde, plastic, big-haired and even bigger chested, borderline anorexic girls. Surprisingly enough, I couldn't have been more wrong. I was surrounded by an extremely diverse group of girls. There was the extremely talkative actress who only did the pageant because her fiance dared her to, the slightly larger girl who, surprisingly enough, had been doing pageants forever, the blonde-haired sweetheart who seemed like she should have been in the Miss GA pageant instead of the Miss NJ one, the girl "from the block," and then there was me. We were all so different but we were all there for the same thing. It made the weekend both more relaxed and more competitive all at once.

Never in my life have I seen more fake eyelashes, aerosol hairspray cans, fake breasts and glittery body lotion than I did in those three days. Seriously, I think I'm still suffering respiratory problems from all the hair spray, and stomach issues from all the lipstick I accidentally consumed. (I never wear anything other than chap stick - cut me a break, here.) The weekend was definitely full of firsts, and not just because I was doing a pageant for the first time. I had my butt hair sprayed by a pageant mom (it keep your bathing suit bottom from riding up), I not only walked, but strutted, in 4 inch heels (which, by the way, did not come off my feet all weekend. If you're going to wear them during the show, you're going to practice in them ... No one likes a clunky-looking pageant girl!), I told people they looked "fabulous" and "so cute," I cast my vote for Miss Amity (aka Miss Congeniality), and I stressed about only having 2 hours to get ready before the show. In short, I did everything the typical pageant girl would. I figured if I was going to immerse myself in what was essentially an entirely new culture, I might as well go all out. It was definitely the right decision.

I want to thank everyone who supported me through all of this. It was a wild experience which was extremely stressful at times, and I couldn't have gotten through it without everyone supporting me like they did. I don't think you'll see me in any more Miss NJ USA pageants (although I may move on to the more low-key regional ones and see if I can get myself to Miss America ... We'll see how much money they want me to give them) but the memories I've gotten out of this one will last me a lifetime. And then some. I mean it, that was A LOT of hairspray - enough for 3 lifetimes.

Tickets, Tickets, Tickets

For all those interested, here is the ticket information for the pageant. Which, in case you didn't realize, is this weekend.

Saturday (Preliminary Judgings):
Miss NJ USA begins at 2:00 PM.
Tickets are $25 and can be bought at the door.
Sunday (Final Competition):
Miss NJ USA begins at 6:00 PM.
Tickets are $35 and can be bought at the door.
**You must pay with cash. Credit cards and checks are not accepted.

The pageant is held at the Parsippany Hilton Hotel. 1 Hilton Court, Parsippany NJ.

That's all I've got for now. I swear, I'll keep you updated over the next week to let you know what happens. Seriously.

Doctor Nightingale, Former Miss NJ USA

That's what I intend on having my title be in a few years. Which is my excuse for not updating this in forever. An aspiring doctor needs to spend all her free time studying (and occasionally browsing Facebook), not updating a blog! That said, I do appologize for being so responsible with my studies ... I neglected the blog which I promised to keep updated, which ironically, seems rather irresponsible. I just can't win.

Since it's been so long since I've last updated, I've got about a million and one things to say. I'll try to keep it short, since other than my parents, I'm sure everyone else out there has lives and doesn't want to spend hours reading this. (Dear Mom and Dad, I love you. Please don't threaten to stop sending me to school because I said you don't have lives.)

About a month or so ago we had our ADPi recruitment. And on the second night, one of my sisters tapped me on the shoulder and said, "This is Lexi. She wanted to talk to you." Little did I know, Lexi is Miss Keystone, and after hearing that I was on my way to becoming Miss NJ USA, she just HAD to talk to me. She's been giving me little tips, and gave me the name of a place to buy a pageant swimsuit, a tailor and a shoe repair store. She's actually one of our newest members, so we have a fun little bond there.

I bought two pairs of shoes online, one for the swim suit and one for my evening gown. The swimsuit ones are pretty boring - apparently it's supposed to look like I'm not wearing shoes, and have the magical ability to defy gravity, but just in regard to my feet. I really like the evening gown ones, though. Too bad they're covered by my dress! They both have heels around 4 inches, which is just ridiculous if you ask me. I've been practicing walking in them, which my roommates mock me mercilessly for. I ended up taking out the garbage while wearing them a few weeks ago, and when I came back into the room my roommate informed me that she hoped I didn't stand on any corners, because I looked like a prostitute. I think it was less the shoes, and more the fact that I was wearing them with shorts. I'll post some pictures on here, and you can decide for yourself.

Up until I talked to Lexi, I had no idea that pageant suits were different from regular swimsuits. But apparently, they are. Which means I had to get a special swimsuit shipped to me from Hawaii, because that's where all the REAL pageant queens get their swimsuits. If I'm going to do this, I'm going to do it right! I was worried that it wouldn't fit me ... According to the measurements on the website, I was a small. But I am 5'9", and have never been a small in anything. Much to my relief, I got the swimsuit and it not only fit perfectly, but looked great. Again, I'll stick a picture of that on here. The picture shows it in silver, but the one I got is black.

I went shopping with Mom (again ... she's my official fashion consultant) for my interview outfit. We picked up three outfits that would work - A blue knit dress, a white sweater dress, and a cute pink shirt with grey textured dress pants. I really love the dress pants, so I'm leaning more towards wearing those.

What else, what else? I'm working on filling out all the papers that I need to bring with me over the weekend, which is actually fairly stressful. I need 7 copies of my interview information packet, and a sheet of information for the Emcee to read when I'm on stage. I'll talk more about the crazy questions on there later, right now I need to go to dinner. Because despite the jokes I may make, Miss NJ USA does need to eat!

Headshots?!

Yesterday was my deadline to get in a headshot for the pageant program. You don't need to worry - I did make the deadline. What you should worry about, however, is how intact my sanity is after having a backyard photoshoot with my mother.

Exhibit A:

The most difficult part of the whole thing was deciding what picture to send in. After asking opinions of some people, then ignoring them, this is what I settled on:

The wind blowing in my hair makes me look like a high-class model. The fact that nothing other than my hair is blowing makes it seem as if I command the wind with my beauty. And the moss in the background gives a nice rugged contrast to my soft face. These are all things a professional would say about my photo. I'm not making them up. I swear.

I FOUND A DRESS!!

Saturday marked shopping trip number two for mom and me. Since we had ruled out the entire Rockaway Mall, we decided to head over to Shorthills. Our first stop was Neiman Marcus, which was an experience all in itself. We were told that "some dresses could be found on the second floor, and couture was on the third." Well, after trying on three dresses that looked excellent on the hanger and horrible on me, (and here I was thinking that wasn't possible) we decided that we would move on. It was at this point that I, in my blue jeans and black t-shirt, demanded that we go to the couture floor. When mom expressed her worry that they would "look down on us," I told her the best way to assert your position as a customer of stature was to pick up the most expensive dress she could find and say, "well, I like it, but I already have one at home in blue." I forgot to tell her to add on "and I bought it last year. I suppose vintage is in right now." (That last part obviously needs to be said in the most condescending tone possible.)


Upon arriving at the couture floor we were greeted by the lovely scent of funeral home (it was the lillies. Lots and lots of lillies.) and decided that the smell was just too much. After doing a brisk walk around the floor, we left, fairly unimpressed with the clothes. The personal style assistant offices, mahogany desks and important looking old ladies were fairly impressive, however.

The DAR would like to formally extend
to you an invitation to Sunday brunch.





I tried on a few cocktail dresses and a few gowns, nothing

leaving all that big of an impression. You can look at picture of two of the more humorous cocktail dresses, with my always witty comments ... well, around. Who knows where they'll end up in the final formatting.

This dress will get all the guys.
It gives the illusion of birthing hips.

I tried on a dress by Sue Wong that I loved, with the exception of the fact that it was just a tad too short. We decided to remember the designer name and try another store. As luck would have it, I found another dress by Sue Wong and although it's not quite perfect, it's extremely close. Unfortuantely, one sales associate saw my in the dress and then proceeded to put me on display for two other associates. And as if that wasn't enough, she then showed me off to two other customers. Even thinking about how awkward this was annoys me and I'm unable to think of anything funny to say about it.





The good news is that we ended up buying the dress. Because I love my loyal readers all so much, I even risked the elements and a drooly dog to take pictures to post on here. You're welcome. Close up of the beading.

Payment number two

I put my second installment for the pageant in the mail a few days ago. Unlike the first payment, which seemed like a momentous occasion, this one was just sort of a routine errand. Granted, the first payment also included the extensive signing-over-my-soul paperwork, and I had to overnight it ... So I suppose it was more of a big deal. This time I sent out the check :gasp: early, and unceremouniously threw it in the mailbox next to Kings, not even taking note of what time it would be picked up the next day. This was really so uneventful that I won't bore you further with details I can't really remember.

Who knew shopping could be stressful?

This past Saturday mom and I went shopping for dresses. I need two different ones for the pageant: a solid red/white/pink cocktail dress for the opening number, and an evening gown.

I realized as soon as I got there that I had no idea where to even start. My most recent dress-seeking experience was senior prom, and I was unbelievably picky because I knew exactly what I wanted. This time, I don't even have a color in mind. After scoffing at my mother for recommending I try on a few of the ugliest dresses ever made, I grabbed a few and went in to the fitting room. The best part of the whole ordeal for me was the Lord and Taylor ladies constantly asking mom if she needed help with anything, cripple that she now is.

The trip ended with me slightly frustrated, and mom saying, "well, at least we've ruled out the entire Rockaway mall!"

This is not to say the entire trip was a waste. We did come to a few conclusions before we left.
1) A dress with a high waist would probably be the best style for me.
2) The mall cops look even more ridiculous ever since they started riding around on their new segways.
3) I need to buy heels. Lots and lots of painful heels. Because 5'9" just isn't tall enough.
4) When you see a cute skirt for only $20, it's pretty much the law that you have to buy it.
5) There really wasn't a 5th conclusion, but it's a nice number to end on, don't you think?