Headshots?!

Yesterday was my deadline to get in a headshot for the pageant program. You don't need to worry - I did make the deadline. What you should worry about, however, is how intact my sanity is after having a backyard photoshoot with my mother.

Exhibit A:

The most difficult part of the whole thing was deciding what picture to send in. After asking opinions of some people, then ignoring them, this is what I settled on:

The wind blowing in my hair makes me look like a high-class model. The fact that nothing other than my hair is blowing makes it seem as if I command the wind with my beauty. And the moss in the background gives a nice rugged contrast to my soft face. These are all things a professional would say about my photo. I'm not making them up. I swear.

I FOUND A DRESS!!

Saturday marked shopping trip number two for mom and me. Since we had ruled out the entire Rockaway Mall, we decided to head over to Shorthills. Our first stop was Neiman Marcus, which was an experience all in itself. We were told that "some dresses could be found on the second floor, and couture was on the third." Well, after trying on three dresses that looked excellent on the hanger and horrible on me, (and here I was thinking that wasn't possible) we decided that we would move on. It was at this point that I, in my blue jeans and black t-shirt, demanded that we go to the couture floor. When mom expressed her worry that they would "look down on us," I told her the best way to assert your position as a customer of stature was to pick up the most expensive dress she could find and say, "well, I like it, but I already have one at home in blue." I forgot to tell her to add on "and I bought it last year. I suppose vintage is in right now." (That last part obviously needs to be said in the most condescending tone possible.)


Upon arriving at the couture floor we were greeted by the lovely scent of funeral home (it was the lillies. Lots and lots of lillies.) and decided that the smell was just too much. After doing a brisk walk around the floor, we left, fairly unimpressed with the clothes. The personal style assistant offices, mahogany desks and important looking old ladies were fairly impressive, however.

The DAR would like to formally extend
to you an invitation to Sunday brunch.





I tried on a few cocktail dresses and a few gowns, nothing

leaving all that big of an impression. You can look at picture of two of the more humorous cocktail dresses, with my always witty comments ... well, around. Who knows where they'll end up in the final formatting.

This dress will get all the guys.
It gives the illusion of birthing hips.

I tried on a dress by Sue Wong that I loved, with the exception of the fact that it was just a tad too short. We decided to remember the designer name and try another store. As luck would have it, I found another dress by Sue Wong and although it's not quite perfect, it's extremely close. Unfortuantely, one sales associate saw my in the dress and then proceeded to put me on display for two other associates. And as if that wasn't enough, she then showed me off to two other customers. Even thinking about how awkward this was annoys me and I'm unable to think of anything funny to say about it.





The good news is that we ended up buying the dress. Because I love my loyal readers all so much, I even risked the elements and a drooly dog to take pictures to post on here. You're welcome. Close up of the beading.

Payment number two

I put my second installment for the pageant in the mail a few days ago. Unlike the first payment, which seemed like a momentous occasion, this one was just sort of a routine errand. Granted, the first payment also included the extensive signing-over-my-soul paperwork, and I had to overnight it ... So I suppose it was more of a big deal. This time I sent out the check :gasp: early, and unceremouniously threw it in the mailbox next to Kings, not even taking note of what time it would be picked up the next day. This was really so uneventful that I won't bore you further with details I can't really remember.

Who knew shopping could be stressful?

This past Saturday mom and I went shopping for dresses. I need two different ones for the pageant: a solid red/white/pink cocktail dress for the opening number, and an evening gown.

I realized as soon as I got there that I had no idea where to even start. My most recent dress-seeking experience was senior prom, and I was unbelievably picky because I knew exactly what I wanted. This time, I don't even have a color in mind. After scoffing at my mother for recommending I try on a few of the ugliest dresses ever made, I grabbed a few and went in to the fitting room. The best part of the whole ordeal for me was the Lord and Taylor ladies constantly asking mom if she needed help with anything, cripple that she now is.

The trip ended with me slightly frustrated, and mom saying, "well, at least we've ruled out the entire Rockaway mall!"

This is not to say the entire trip was a waste. We did come to a few conclusions before we left.
1) A dress with a high waist would probably be the best style for me.
2) The mall cops look even more ridiculous ever since they started riding around on their new segways.
3) I need to buy heels. Lots and lots of painful heels. Because 5'9" just isn't tall enough.
4) When you see a cute skirt for only $20, it's pretty much the law that you have to buy it.
5) There really wasn't a 5th conclusion, but it's a nice number to end on, don't you think?

The Start of a Literary Masterpiece

I decided to steal my Aunt MB's idea about writing a blog detailing my (always exciting) pageant exploits. Since I'm starting this a little late in the game, I'll post a few entries about what went on before this little online journal got to grace your computer monitors, if you are so inclined to read them. I'm just guessing at the dates, and I'm hoping no one accuses me of lying if I get one wrong. That's a scandal that the future Miss NJ USA certainly couldn't afford.

No, I Haven't Been Training for This my Entire Life

Today I told one of my friends about the pageant. We hadn't talked in a while, and the only reason she stopped stammering in surprise was because there was a near car accident right in front of us. Of course, we got back on the topic later, and after a few questions she said to me, "you do realize that some of the girls you will be competing against have probably been training for this their entire lives, right?"

Yes, I do. Which is why I will feel bad when I win and they don't. =)

!!!

I got my first sponsorships in the mail today. This means that this is actually happening. I'm more than a little bit stunned. The pageant is far away enough that it's still not entirely real, but it's certainly getting there.

Also, thank you so so so much (thank you oodles, even) to the families that are sponsoring me so that I can live out my admittedly slightly ridiculous dream. Did I mention that you'll get your names in the program? That way, the entire audience will know you had the foresight to sponsor the winner!